Okay. I m so very proud of my daughter, in every way. She has this uniqueness, this awesomeness in which she is VERY aware that she isn’t quite like the other kids. She owns it, loves it and uses it to her advantage. And I love it. But here’s the thing. Every kid goes through these very important milestones. Milestones that aren’t written in the “mom books”. Things like styling their own hair, using Barbie as a model to try on ALL of mommy’s expensive makeup, eating an entire box of donuts… You know… the usual. But my daughter…. my kid can’t just go through these milestones like every other kid. She’s gotta do it bigger. Better. More heart attack causing. Because what’s the fun in a small variance in daily life?
She really did it this time. She did.
I’m snug in my bed, comfy and sleeping fabulously (which says a lot because our AC hates us this summer). It’s somewhere around 1 in the morning, and in comes the shuffling feet of a sleepy but distraught six year old. It’s dark, but I can see her pulling at something near her ear. I think to myself, OKay! Here we go. We’ve got an ear ache or her earring is stuck. A little hair fixing or some Tylenol and crisis averted. Yeah.
Nuh uh. Nope. Not okay. Most kids just take the easy path when it comes to hair disasters. You know, complete removal of the bangs via self beautification, or falling asleep with a wad of gum in their mouths. But not my kid. Not mine……….
We walk down the hallway to the bathroom where I can turn on the light. And to my horror I am not greeted with cut off bangs or gummy hair. But I wish I was. What I was greeted with is far worse than anything I’ve ever encountered. My daughter’s head was COVERED, tangled with, about sixty dollars worth of…. BUNCHEMS. Yep stupid little infomercial toy that sticks together and makes cute creatures. That one. Her head is a giant rainbow knot. I just stare. I don’t know what to do. How does this even happen???
I could cut it, but then she’ll be bald. I could attempt to just grab a bunch and pull…. also would result in baldness. So what ended up happening here… was me sitting on the toilet lid at one fifteen in the morning. Pulling these stupid things out piece by piece, carefully trying not to yank my poor kid’s hair out, cursing a storm and swearing I’m going to throw every damn bunchem on the planet in the trash. It took a good 30 min, and falling back to sleep was near impossible. I never thought I would wish my munchkin had just cut her own hair, but dear God this was excruciating!
A quick Google search told me I wasn’t alone here. I’m not one for reviews or product judgement, but DO NOT buy these for your kids, unless you prefer to keep them bald. Just don’t.